The Evil Sex: Abstinence Based Sexual Education Vs You

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Wide-eyed and bushy tailed, I sit down eagerly waiting for a new world in learning, a class called “Sex Ed” awaits me. I watch in anticipation as my teacher swaggers their way up to the front of the class and turns on the projector, something new and interesting is coming. The projector radiates heat, and the class starts with a bang… “STDS”, “AIDS”, “PREGNANCY”, “FALLEN OFF GENITALIA”, “PAIN”, “DEATH”. From the 5th grade until high school graduation (for those who are lucky), schools teach us that sex is something to be feared and I almost fell for it.Lucky for me, I had/have a way too honest mother who gave me better and way too detailed sex talks throughout my life, but most kids don’t get that and they rely on their schools for that kind of information. This isn’t happening. What is happening is girls are being targeted as ones to attack and scare in sex ed in order to create a safe world where no STDs or unwanted pregnancies occur. Have we learned nothing? Torture doesn’t work. From my major issues with abstinence-based sex ed, to the my hatred of words like “virginity”, I will not only bash on what is being done, but propose new ideas for sexual education courses that will not only inform but empower young girls to chose their own sexual paths, whether it be the path of abstinence or a path to being a powerful sexual and consensual woman of any sexual orientation.

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100 % ABSTINENCE PROGRAMS 

Most states require abstinence-based sexual education in schools, and if it’s not required, it’s recommended. Some of you may be wondering, “why is this so wrong?”, or thinking “if we teach them abstinence there will be less sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancies!”. Understandable concerns. I have a few questions for you non-believers: has anyone ever told you not to do something which has made you want to do it even more? Here’s a silly scenario for you too. Let’s say someone taught you that it wasn’t safe to swim, and that there are so many unfortunate things that can happen if you do decide to swim. The day comes where you think you are ready to swim but you weren’t taught how to swim, and more importantly how to be safe if you decide to swim, well then you either drown or get eaten by a shark. Now it’s very rare that you will get eaten by a shark if you decide to have sex when you aren’t informed, but I hope that you get the metaphor. What tends to happen at schools that teach abstinence only sex ed, is there are more unwanted pregnancies at early ages and more spreading of sexually transmitted diseases.

TARGETING WOMEN 

Girls and boys are taught differently in sex-ed classes, which is damaging for both genders. Sex-ed classes tend to target women as the ones who need to be especially careful and abstinent because of course, boys will be boys, and we can and should control our hormones/desires. We, as women, do have a lot of responsibility when it comes to sex, it’s true. Anyshosh-roarone can get STDs but only us can get pregnant and as of now, we’re the pretty much the ones responsible for taking birth control. Sex ed scares girls into thinking that sex is for men. We think sex is scary, it will hurt, and that we must choose to “give” our virginity (SEE BELOW) to the right person otherwise we will end up alone with child. This kind of sex ed absurdness causes long-term issues. When people see a sexually active and exploitative woman who is open and proud about their sex life, that woman is obviously a dirty slut. Double standard! Men like that are studs! Slut and stud should have the same meaning (they used to). They should mean a sex-positive person who is empowered by the act of sex and embraces it in its full potential.

“VIRGINITY” BS

Sex ed programs in schools around the country love to paint the picture of the ideal “virginal” woman. The word virginity is frankly utter BS. It’s a word that started in the 13th century and is an outdated and sexist term. Virgin/virginity are terms that have many different problems hovering around it; first of all it causes word associations that allow negative connotations for its antonyms. For example, when I think of the word “virgin”, I think “beauty”, “pure”, “white dresses”, “dainty”, so does that mean that when I think of a sexually active and unmarried person I think  “ugly”, “dirty”, or “sinful”? Along with that, scholars and dictionaries everywhere define a virgin as “someone who hasn’t had sexual intercourse” and sometimes includes that losing their virginity has to involve penis and vagina 82cca4a766659f4ad37fa21d29220174penetration. There are many issues with this alone. First of all, does this mean that gay men or women are always virgins? What if it wasn’t consensual, do they still lose their virginity? No. Not if that’s not what they want. Everyone should be able to have their own personal definitions of it means for them to become a newly sexual being. If to them that means masturbation, or oral sex, then that’s fine, if it’s penetration then that’s their choice.

The phrase “losing your virginity” makes it seem like you are losing something so important when you have sex. It shouldn’t be “losing your virginity”, it should be “gaining your sexual freedom” or something in that direction because losing has such a negative meaning to it.

Sexual education in high schools heavily enforce the word “virginity” as a sacred thing, especially for women, which can be harmful to some. None of this means that virginity isn’t sacred; some people believe that this is true for them and that’s 100% okay! If you believe that you need to wait for marriage because of religious beliefs or personal morals that you are completely allowed to think so because it’s your body/life. It should just also be okay for other people to believe that being a healthy sexually empowered human is sacred.tumblr_mn4h6bE0zX1r8o0xao1_500

BETTER SEX ED!

What now, Bitca Elena? I just ranted a crap load on how much I detest most “modern” sexual education courses but now I want to share a list of ways sexual education can improve the lives of everyone! Good sex ed that properly educates young people about sex and especially on contraceptives, does in fact work. It has been statistically known to cause less pregnancies and more teenagers to wait longer until having sex because they know what to do, and when they feel comfortable and ready enough to do it. Here’s my list of what sexual education courses should cover to improve the sexual lives of our young generations!images (2)

1.) CONTRACEPTIVES, CONTRACEPTIVES, CONTRACEPTIVES (Including condoms (male and female), birth control, Plan B, etc.) and how to use them!

2.) Options of the unwanted pregnancy: Abortions, abortion pills, adoption, etc.

3.) The option of abstinence for those who believe in it.

4.) How to love your body: knowledge of male and female anatomy, pubic hair, love of different body types, etc.

5.) LGBTQIA sex lessons. How to be safe with same-sex sex.

6.) Lesson on what transgender women and men go through during their transformations. aww!

7.) Masturbation: loving yourself before someone else loves you!

8.) STD information!

9.) Medical checkups; OBGYN and all that good fun.

10.) Creating your own definition of “virginity” or/making your own sex terms!

11.) Sluts vs Studs: the gender stigmas on being sexual. Double standards.

12.) The harmful stigmas of being a virgin male vs a virgin female.

What would your ideal sex ed class be like? 

Do you Bitcas have any sex ed horror stories? –

Example: in 5th grade my teacher compared the vagina to a muffin.

Also I didn’t have sex ed class in High School until my senior year, and of course it was abstinence based. There were already many pregnant women in my class.

ALSO watch Laci Green’s Sex+ youtube videos!

Stay sex positive. Love,

Bitca Elena

 

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