Bitcas Collab: Our Definitive Ranking of Every Season of Every Show That Matters

If you have not seen www.thewire.com‘s article: A Definitive Ranking of Every Season of Every TV  Show That Mattered, do that please before you read our response to this article.

We were inspired by this well-thought-out and clearly logical article of rankings of every season of every TV show that mattered, we truly were. First of all, we loved the shows that were picked as the ones that mattered. Us Bitcas would have never thought to put Gilmore GirlsER, Friends, Seinfeld, and Sopranos, in the same list, not to mention included in a list with only 10 most important shows. Can we stop for a second to also give this author a round of applause for watching 15 seasons of ER, honestly that is deserving of all of the awards. Maybe, just maybe, we disagree about a few things, like for example the order of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer series (SERIOUSLY SEASON 7 SHOULD BE RANKED HIGHER THAN SEASON 4) . Some may say that the list looks like it was chosen by someone who hasn’t actually seen the series, but we wouldn’t say that, no sir. Instead of giving our opinions on the choices made, we decided to make our own equally as significant and well-composed rankings of every season of every show that matters. Here it is… Oh but before we start we think that it would be great to follow the footsteps of the wise author by putting our own similar introduction/note from author:

This list is correct. It’s definitive. It’s not wrong. Don’t argue. This is no place to argue. Thanks. Xoxo. Feminist Bitcas.

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

9, 5, 6, 3, 2, 4, 5, 7, 8, 10, 1

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We all can agree that the first season was the worst. Why? It’s just on way too often! Not only that but the animation could be better, I mean why is the animation so different from season 1 to season 3? Because the creators just knew that it sucked. The most recent season, season 10, was just too dark. The whole plot where Spongebob Squarepants finds out the NSA is spying on him was too much, along with Patrick Star, or Patricia Star, getting into the drug business with Mr. Krabs in order for Mr. Krabs to pay for his medicine. The season that truly showed true television was truly season 9; it really portrayed the hardships that go along with the fast food industry and the pain that women have to deal with when they’re in the science industry (like Sandy Cheeks in the episode: We Need Less Nuts in Science!! Pt.3)

Too Cute

3, 1, 2

Season 2 of Too Cute is just deplorable, especially when you compare it to the coming of age story of Pug puppies in season 1, or the inspiring tail (see what I did) of Kitty, the aptly named Papillon puppy, who was able to come out of her shell in season 3. Season 2 felt monotonous; once you’ve seen one cute cat, you’ve seem ’em all. When we watch Too Cute, what we crave is an edgy story line about what it means to be an animal growing up in our hetero-patriarchal, capitalist society. Season 2 also lacked the diversity we expect when watching Animal Planet; the key players in this season were kittens and puppies. I mean, come the fuck ON. It was 2012, producers should have known better. Season 3 was particularly innovative, including kangaroos, pigs, and ducks on the show. That’s the representation we’d like to see.

Full House

5, 1, 3, 4, 2, 7, 6, 8

Full House is one of those timeless shows that you’ll watch only when excruciatingly bored. That being said, as Full House connoisseurs, we have come to a point where we can tell Mary Kate and Ashley apart, especially in season 6, 7, and 8. That’s why they’re ranked so low. Believable? We think not. Daytime television, you can do better. Season 5 reigns supreme because of the emotional bombs it drops, especially when Jesse and Becky’s baby twins are born. There wasn’t a dry eye in the full house. Season 1 is ranked high because of the indie-cred that comes with watching the show when it only had 9 million viewers. Season 1 also boasts the first appearance of Kimmy Gibbler, who seems to be everyone’s favorite character.

 

 

 

The Weather Channel

22, 5, 1, 2, 6, 7, 8, 12, 3, 30, 40, 21, 29, 28, 27, 36, 35, 3, 9, 19, 18, 39, 38, 26, 25, 34, 33, 4, 10, 11,  23, 31, 17, 16, 15, 33, 9

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Probably the series that matters most, is The Weather Channel. The drama and informative plots help shape us as humans really. Season 22 was the strongest with that episode about the tornado; it was such a twist (see what I did there). The female meteorologist was great with every prediction and pun. She was a really smart character.  The music was impeccable, as every note on the electric keyboard juxtaposed, with such beauty, the changes in weather so well and so decadently. Every day was perfectly executed, and perfectly predicted. What a year… Then there was season 9, I can’t even. I mean really? The main character was of course this male meteorologist. Patriarchy much? That season consisted of the worst storms and temperatures; there were so many natural disasters. Really? A blizzard on the day of my Elena’s driving test? That’s just the worst planning.

 

Firefly

1

Don’t get us started on season 1 of Firefly.

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Agree with us or not, we’re right.

Xoxo,

Bitca Brynna and Bitca Elena

 

 

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